I suppose I should give some kind of background as to what my deal is, so here goes:
Ever since I started getting my period (when I was 13, yeah late bloomer, I think girls are getting it now at 9 or something, holy shit), it was IRregular. Totally irregular. I never kept track of it but it was every other month at the most, and that's being generous. I never thought much of it because when you're a young teen, having your period sucks. Hell, it sucks no matter how old you are. I didn't start visiting the vag doctor until I was 17 or 18 but I don't think I mentioned it. When they asked when my last period was, I would shrug and say, "uh...(insert made up date here)" because I didn't want them to think I was a freak. I just chalked it up to being young and thought that eventually it would work itself out. Needless to say, I wish I would have been honest from the get-go.
I switched vag doctors sometime around the age of 21. I brought up my aunt flo issues but my doc didn't really seem all that concerned about it so why should I be, right? She would tell me that some women just aren't regular and it's normal. So introduce birth control pills. They were pretty wonderful when I was on them, other than the fact that I couldn't get the generic (Orthotricyclen-LO, apparently I wasn't cool enough for the HI version) and they were fairly expensive. Not only did they kee aunt flo on a schedule each month but they kept my skin clear and I didn't gain any weight! Pretty sweet deal.
I went off birth control in March of 2008, when I was 23 because I had been married for about 8 months and we decided it might be neat to have a little Steph or Justin around. Cue IRregular cycle again. I'm tellin' you, I should invest in First Response stock because I have went through so many HPT's due to my not-knowing when the hell I'm supposed to get my period. I tested, and tested, and tested some more and then one day, 6 days after I had taken a negative test, it came back positive. I was shocked. It had only been 2 months since I went off the pill. I had it confirmed by a blood test at the doc's office and thus began the pregnancy visits to the lady doctor.
My first appointment was just the introduction hoo-ha full of pamphlets and books to get started on. The next visit was my annual exam (I was due for one anyway) and a discussion of what my due date would be. I had been so frustrated because every nurse I had talked to would pull out their little due date calculator wheel and tell me I was due December 19th. I would then correct them and say, no way in hell I'm that far along, I'm totally IRREGULAR, and those things won't work. So my doc scheduled an early INTERNAL ultrasound. Side note: if you've never had an INTERNAL ultrasound, it's basically them sticking a dildo camera up there to take a look at your insides. According to the technician, I was about 6 1/2 weeks along, therefore, due date would be February 15th. Told you so! It was a viable pregnancy, we saw a heartbeat. Heartbeat was slow, but it was there. Tech told scheduled us to come back in a week to check the heartbeat and make sure everything was ok.
4 days after my ultrasound, I woke up having a miscarriage. It was completely surreal. I had taken the day off work to go to Chicago to see a friend. I woke up and something, just something, didn't feel right. I hopped out of bed and saw a lot of blood. I was freaking out! We drove to the emergency room where we met my mom (she works downtown so she was able to meet us there). After hours of waiting, testing, ultrasounding, and examining, the ER doctor confirmed is was a spontaneous miscarriage. Talk about the worst news I had ever heard. Worst of all is that I was so sad, but still felt guilty because I was bleeding all over the place. I was embarassed because of what the nurses had to see. I look back now and know that they've probably seen this kind of thing multiple times but at the time it was really awkward. I went home, cried for most of the weekend, and went back to work on a Tuesday.
I scheduled an appointment the following week with my own doctor. Let me just say how weird it is to call your doctors office and when they say, "what can I do for you," to tell them, "uh, I had a miscarriage." I was in the waiting room FULL of pregnant women. Side note: Cedar Rapids flooded horribly that summer so my doctor's office had been combined with the sister doctor's office and it was soooo busy! I broke down in the waiting room and nobody gave a shit. NOBODY. Except one lady who told me she had been through the same thing years ago. Once in the room with my doctor, it was like, "oh, so you had a miscarriage, it happens." I like her, but she was pretty cold to me that day, or maybe she was super busy because they had over-scheduled everyone. She did a quick (and by quick I mean, less than 1 minute) exam and told me to wait one cycle to try again. Ha! One cycle for me could be 3 months!
After this happened, I started to do a lot of research. Research on miscarriage; why it happens, what it means, how to move on. Research on irregularity, research on ovulation, research on infertility (you start thinking the worst after having a miscarriage). I found out a lot of people close to me had miscarriages before. Except my mom, who is a fertility queen apparently.
Summer came and went and around the end of August I still hadn't gotten my period (3 months later). I did however get a horrible case of acne (and I RARELY had zits before) and 10 lbs added on to my gut. Chalk it up to hormones out of control Justin and I decided to start trying again even though no aunt flo yet. My emotions were more stable and I was feeling like myself again. Months went by, no positive HPTs and still no period. FINALLY, come mid-November, I decided to call my doctor. Why I waited so long, I'm not sure. They ran thyroid and prolactin tests and put me on medroxyprogesterone acetate to "jump-start" things. Yeah, it certainly did. I relived the flood of 2008...in my pants. Both tests came back "normal" and when they called to tell me that, the nurse said "isn't that good news?" and I said "well, kind of, but it doesn't really give me any answers."
12 weeks came and went after that and I was so excited because I got my period on my own in February without the help of drugs! So I counted down the next 12 weeks, hoping that I had ovulated at some point whilst "trying" again. I read a few places that even if you're irregular, you normally ovulate about 2 weeks before getting your period. Well here we are today and it's been 14 weeks since my last period now. Not pregnant, not anything...well except frustrated.
Time to call the doctor again. I need to schedule my annual exam anyway so hopefully we can start looking into this further. I've been considering trying a new doctor out but for some reason, part of me still thinks that since my doctor knows my background, it would be in my best interest to go back ONE MORE TIME to see if I can't light a fire up someone's ass.
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